He disabled his match.com account in front of me
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Randomize