I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
