ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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