I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
