someone owes me an orgasm
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
