But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just tell him i said nine months
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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