Christians are straight up FREAKS
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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