i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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