I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
