just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize