Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
