The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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