If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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