You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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