I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it's like iHOP with fire
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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