ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Drake has all the answers
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
