so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just high enough for therapy.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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