Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
