i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
