i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
