I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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