If i come over, it means nothing
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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