Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize