My first STD was from a foam party
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
