Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
