Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
