This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
