Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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