Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
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I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
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If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?