Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
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you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
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I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish