Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.

(740): View more from Ohio

Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight

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(740): Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook. (740): Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight http://tfl.nu/qdoi

Replies (23) Good night (862) Bad night (2992)
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(416): View more from Ontario

He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

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(416): He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him. http://tfl.nu/3lsk

Replies (52) Good night (11595) Bad night (1265)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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(504): I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this. http://tfl.nu/j9b2

Replies (10) Good night (4077) Bad night (1162)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted

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(847): I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted http://tfl.nu/5rf7

Replies (6) Good night (2579) Bad night (1163)
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(416): View more from Toronto

You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...

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(416): You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere... http://tfl.nu/u20i

Replies (6) Good night (2285) Bad night (1841)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?

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(908): Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good? http://tfl.nu/2d9n

Replies (6) Good night (2387) Bad night (846)
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(407): View more from Florida

50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.

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(407): 50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin. http://tfl.nu/4pfl

Replies (10) Good night (2163) Bad night (999)
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(661): View more from California

Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw

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(661): Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw http://tfl.nu/sucz

Replies (6) Good night (1642) Bad night (873)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.

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(540): I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish. http://tfl.nu/1i5o

Replies (8) Good night (1177) Bad night (680)
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(850): View more from Florida

I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.

(239): View more from Florida

that is the opposite of a normal text message.

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(850): I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult. (239): that is the opposite of a normal text message. http://tfl.nu/cufq

Replies (6) Good night (1816) Bad night (647)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area

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(612): He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area http://tfl.nu/q3t9

Replies (2) Good night (900) Bad night (417)
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(239): View more from Florida

We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious

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(239): We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious http://tfl.nu/iovv

Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (476)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting

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(303): Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting http://tfl.nu/here

Replies (3) Good night (995) Bad night (391)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.

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(816): Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break. http://tfl.nu/ueuh

Replies (5) Good night (433) Bad night (589)
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(905): View more from Ontario

You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.

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(905): You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech. http://tfl.nu/68ru

Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (273)

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