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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

  Fav 31 11016 2097

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight

  Fav 69 1573 9376

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.

  Fav 11 991 3830

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.

  Fav 22 2261 8968

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• (+10): View more from

  I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident

  Fav 2 1249 1661

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail

  Fav 11 1325 2548

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (954): View more from Florida

  in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Pencil dick carries the name proudly.

  Fav 5 418 769

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• (138): View more from

  You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI

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