why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.