Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?

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  (313): ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too? http://tfl.nu/07vv
  Replies (67) Good night (662) Bad night (2644)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.

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  (806): How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking. http://tfl.nu/9w1c
  Replies (11) Good night (4113) Bad night (764)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.

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  (901): Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods. http://tfl.nu/16un
  Replies (26) Good night (4085) Bad night (647)
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  (714): View more from California

  turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker

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  (714): turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker http://tfl.nu/o91j
  Replies (14) Good night (9470) Bad night (1518)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line

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  (203): Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line http://tfl.nu/4rr4
  Replies (11) Good night (1632) Bad night (5173)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.

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  (248): He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me. http://tfl.nu/d9on
  Replies (18) Good night (4635) Bad night (1220)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking

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  (740): you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking http://tfl.nu/ha4q
  Replies (8) Good night (1409) Bad night (2900)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.

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  (517): All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop. http://tfl.nu/gnt9
  Replies (12) Good night (3358) Bad night (1553)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?

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  (814): So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/yeac
  Replies (10) Good night (3493) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.

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  (352): Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american. http://tfl.nu/kvmq
  Replies (11) Good night (1877) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.

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  (802): I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms. http://tfl.nu/3zhe
  Replies (9) Good night (533) Bad night (1873)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.

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  (269): Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward. http://tfl.nu/yk34
  Replies (12) Good night (1538) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?

  (281): View more from Texas

  If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!

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  (214): Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex? (281): If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy! http://tfl.nu/0a5o
  Replies (16) Good night (2437) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.

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  (608): We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you. http://tfl.nu/0tab
  Replies (7) Good night (1225) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight

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  (630): Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight http://tfl.nu/q3l9
  Replies (6) Good night (983) Bad night (350)

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