is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
