he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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