I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize