Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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