I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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