dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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