If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
