One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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