oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
