dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just found puke in my bra..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
