three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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