I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
