Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think my vagina is haunted
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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