i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
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I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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