id be glad to
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
