I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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