I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
