What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
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Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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