Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
