I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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