Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
