Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
