I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
