Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
