The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
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Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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