Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
